He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
