What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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