last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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