I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
