I can text with my tongue
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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