i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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