in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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