Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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