would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
