i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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