Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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