last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize