she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize