I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
