ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
