you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
