you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
