I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
