***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
