Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
