Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
