its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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