the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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