P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
