Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
