I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
