dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
birth control should be required to get into college
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
