haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
