i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
