Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
