Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
