fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
