Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I will be naked everywhere
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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