just tell him i said nine months
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
