It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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