No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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