he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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