Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
