Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
