Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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