so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
