Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
