So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
