They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it's like iHOP with fire
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize