you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
