U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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