i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
