What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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