At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
