Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Soap is not a condiment
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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