dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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