conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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