Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
