I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
