I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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