thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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