Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
