Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
