i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
