I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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