this just has baby written all over it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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