Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
