the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
