She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
