my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
