just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
