my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
